One of the few positive outcomes of the present Iran conflict is the impact it has had on geographical knowledge of the area amongst people around the globe. Every day millions switch on the television or their phones and the first thing they are likely to be greeted with is a map of the Middle East.
It is quite a complex region, especially with all those Gulf states so close together. But now most people can at least point out the Strait of Hormuz, which probably wasn't the case previously.
It's not just the Middle East. Last year citizens around the globe were discovering the geography of Greenland, the biggest island in the world (Australia is larger but officially regarded as a continent). Then there was Venezuela, although interest in that particular area has proved rather fleeting. One suspects it won't be long before we become very familiar with the Caribbean and treated to daily maps of a certain cigar-shaped country.
Over the years maps can change, particularly in Eastern Europe. When I journeyed through Yugoslavia in 1969 it was just one country but these days it is seven independent nations. I travelled through what are now Slovenia, Croatia and Serbia before reaching Bulgaria and snow-bound Sofia. That, incidentally, was when I realised I was getting somewhere a bit different.
I've always held a fascination for maps and atlases. It was after many hours poring over an atlas on a murky winter's day in London in 1968, that I took the decision to embark on what was to be a memorable overland trip to India and beyond. So you can blame my presence here on an atlas.
Toilet break
Talking of maps one thing that is not recommended in Bangkok is to put a street map in front of a tuk-tuk (samlor) driver -- there's a good chance it will cause total confusion. You might as well be showing him a Picasso painting. Even worse is a hastily scribbled map as an English friend discovered in Bangkok many years ago.
He wanted to get to Hua Lamphong railway station and having only just arrived in the country and not knowing the language, drew a crude map on a piece of paper for a tuk-tuk driver. After some initial head-scratching, the driver grinned, apparently having worked out the intended destination. He roared off and 15 minutes later they pulled up outside a shop, but there was no station in sight. The shop was selling toilet bowls.
The driver pointed at the map his passenger had drawn and then the shop. It seems that after examining the lines and circles of the map the tuk-tuk driver had interpreted it as a drawing of a toilet bowl and thought his passenger had wanted to buy a toilet.
The passenger eventually resolved things by making "choo-choo" sounds, which is perhaps what he should have done in the first place.
Escaping Hell
Last week's item about the use or misuse of the word "Hell" prompted quite a few comments. My thanks to a reader who recalled a time in the 1980s working for a photo typesetting company in the UK. At one stage it was taken over by a German business that happened to be named Hell. A number of employees were uncomfortable working for a company called Hell and proceeded to set up their own business which they named "High Water". It turned out to be an inspired choice and the company went on to flourish "come hell or high water".
Beating the heat
I trust everyone has survived the Songkran Festival, suffering little more than a few damp clothes, and maybe stuck with a hint of a fixed grin. The festival brings special memories for me because when I first arrived in April 1969, it coincided with the start of Songkran, although I was unaware of it.
I was heading for Pratunam market with an English friend and we both got ambushed and soaked by kids but also a few mature ladies. It was all good-natured although we hadn't a clue what it was all about. Considering the April heat, throwing water over one another didn't seem such a bad idea. It was in the days before those hideous giant plastic guns took over the festival and the water-throwers simply used household buckets.
I quickly got the feeling that Thailand was decidedly different to the other dozen countries we had passed through on our way from London.
No diplomatic immunity
Not everyone appreciates having water thrown at them, of course. But when you consider what's going on around the world there's a lot worse things that can happen to you than being drenched by playful kids.
One of the most entertaining tales of "Songkran Rage" took place in Pattaya some years ago when the wife of a foreign diplomat belted a kid around the ear after the nipper had drenched her late at night.
It briefly threatened to develop into a diplomatic incident. While her actions hardly ranked as a "human rights violation" as someone claimed, it was not exactly the most diplomatic reaction to what was a rather trivial incident. Considering the myriad of misfortunes that could befall foreigners in Pattaya, you might be thankful to settle for just a drop of water, irritating though it might be.
