When I visited Britain a few years ago a friend drove me through the West Sussex countryside and with an alarming frequency he would point to a building and say "that used to be a pub". It was rather sad. But there was even more depressing news this week with the announcement that British pubs are closing down at an extraordinary rate of nearly two a day.
According to the British Beer and Pubs Association in the first three months of the year 161 pubs closed down, with Scotland suffering most with 41 closures. Last year 336 British pubs bit the sawdust. Since 1980 the UK has lost 21,000 pubs as a result of heavy taxation, high energy and labour costs and the simple fact that people are not drinking as much beer as before.
Something that has always attracted me to British pubs, aside from enjoying a quiet pint, are the intriguing names. I have mentioned before in this column that as a kid I was fascinated by the name of a pub near my grandmother's home in Farnborough, Hampshire. It was called the Tumbledown Dick, which sounded quite funny to my immature ears.
My father explained it was a derogatory nickname given to Richard Cromwell (son of the more famous Oliver), who was briefly in power in England during the late 1650s and highly unpopular. The pub dated back to those times and became a stop for stagecoaches on the London-Southampton route.
I realised you could learn a bit of local history from pub names, which later provided a decent excuse for visiting an array of such establishments. Alas, there is not a happy ending to the Tumbledown Dick tale -- a few years ago the pub was turned into a McDonald's.
Goats and ferrets
Some of the pubs in the following item may no longer be open but they are still worth a mention, if just for their names.
Goats feature quite a lot in pub names and there are some really curious combinations. The Goat and Compasses in Hull is quite famous and some believe it is a corruption of the ancient phrase "And God encompasses us all".
In Bournemouth there is also the oddly named Goat and Tricycle. Other intriguing names featuring furry things are The Ferret and Radiator, The Elusive Camel and The Roaring Donkey.
Ghostly taverns
Some pub names disguise a history of murky goings on. One that catches the eye is the Three-Legged Mare in Petergate, Yorkshire. It is, however, not a reference to an unfortunate horse, but medieval slang for a gallows that could hang three people at once.
Another cheerful-sounding pub is The Bucket of Blood pub in Hayle, Cornwall. Two centuries ago, the landlord drew a bucket from the adjacent well only to find it full of blood, after which they discovered a murdered smuggler in the well.
Then there is an inn in York called The Quiet Woman, with a sign showing a woman carrying her own severed head. Her ghost is said to frequent the pub, which one suspects might go down well with Thai visitors.
We must also not forget The Hung, Drawn and Quartered pub near the Tower of London, which reflects rather unpleasant goings on in that vicinity in the old days.
These few names are just the tip of the iceberg and readers no doubt have their own quirky offerings. But my favourite, primarily because of its improbable message, is the Portsmouth pub called… the Jolly Taxpayer.
Time for a nap
Other news which caught the eye last week was photographs of hundreds of South Koreans taking part in a Power Nap contest held in a park in Seoul. The contest is held to highlight concerns that many stressed Korean citizens do not get enough sleep.
Participants laid down across the park wearing eye masks while doctors monitored heart rates to see who was having the most effective nap. Perhaps they should make it a regional contest. I reckon Thailand would do quite well.
Over the years, whenever I have travelled on a long-distance bus most Thai passengers seem to have no trouble falling asleep within minutes without needing any special help. On the skytrain in Bangkok you can even see commuters sleeping while standing up.
Pigs and pineapples
I have always admired the ability of Thais to nod off in the most uncomfortable circumstances. I remember seeing two fellows in Bangkok blissfully asleep in the back of a pick-up truck even though they were lying unprotected on a bed of pineapples, seemingly unaffected by the fruit's prickly nature.
They looked as comfortable as if they had just booked into a suite at a five-star hotel.
Over the years I have witnessed many trucks piled high with dead pigs on their way to the Klong Toey market. Invariably the fellow in the back would be fast asleep, snoring away amongst the remains of those unfortunate porkers.
Just imagine waking up and finding a pig's trotter in your face, or even worse, the snout. Bacon would never taste the same after that.
Nodding off
For a final word on the art of sleeping, British comedian Tommy Cooper had the answer for insomniacs with the following joke:
Patient: I can't sleep at night. What should I do?
Doctor: Sleep near the edge of the bed. You'll soon drop off.
